Now take a present day decision: I’m working on a release so I’m taking time away from my golf. I’m waiting for that perfect moment to work on my golf game. During that perfect moment, there will be a lull with my work and I’ll have plenty of spare time to get out to the range and get out to the course. That’s the delusion. There is no perfect time. After this release, there will be another release. Another project. Another fire to put out. If I want to work on my golf game, I need to make it a priority and work it into my schedule along with all the other things.

I’m not going to say something trite like, “The perfect moment is now.” because definitely some moments are better than others. But don’t wait for that “perfect moment” when you’re done with everything or everything has settled down, because that “perfect moment” doesn’t exist. If it is important to you, you just need to make it happen.

In the first part of the book, Tony covers his personal history from his acts of entrepreneurship as a child through college to his founding of LinkExchange through Zappos’ early history (until around they moved to Las Vegas). The stories of his childhood are great, in part because they’re really easy to identify with as an Asian American myself. I found myself amazed at Tony’s commitment to Zappos early on. I’m pretty risk averse, and I’m not sure I would have made the same bet. Wow!

The second half introduces Zappos’ core values, how they came to be and how they’ve affected the company. Initially, I was a little disappointed that the book was straying from the “story mode” to the “lessons mode”, but as I continued reading I found different things to like about the book. The core values would certainly be great for any business (some reminded me of Toyota’s philosophy of kaizen), but they’re applicable to the individual as well. I consider myself a pretty well-balanced individual, but I’m not without my flaws. From a self-help perspective, I can learn something from a couple of the core values (particularly the perspectives introduced by “Be Adventurous, Creative, and Open-Minded” and “Pursue Growth and Learning”. Risks versus mistakes and pushing comfort zones are areas I should work on). Some of the other core values validate personal positions. In particular, I enjoyed reading about their relationships with their vendors. I’ve always felt that more can be accomplished by treating those you work with as partners instead of occasionally treating them as opponents (say when it comes to money matters). Another brilliant section (IMO), is Tony’s discussion of Zappos’ “pipeline”. Some companies have succession plans for high level executives, but Zappos’ pipeline provides succession planning for all levels.

All in all, it is an awesome book. I’ll definitely be passing it around (or gifting copies to friends). Those that are business minded or startup minded will enjoy it, as well as those that are interested in tech or Zappos.

In the J2ME days, one challenge was fighting weird, asymmetric constraints. I didn’t do a lot of J2ME development (in fact, very little), but hardware specs and system limitations were generally well documented by the community. There used to be a webpage somewhere with a big table listing model, display specs, JAR size limits, CPU performance, etc.

Even just amongst Nokia phones, there’d be a wide range of constraints leading to developers having to build custom builds for various models. One subset of models would all have the same resolution screen, and same J2ME runtime limitations (JAR size, etc). Nokia might have another more premium line up. That line up would have a nice fancy higher resolution display, but the runtime would remain the same with the same limits. But because of the runtime constraints and the need to drive more pixels, these phones would be more challenging to develop for, be limited in certain ways, or perform worse. For instance, to best take advantage of the larger display, the developer may want to use higher resolution graphics but the runtime may limit the size of the sprites or the size of the overall JAR, or the runtime may not be able to drive the display as quickly.

I am curious to see how this will play out with the iPhone and iPad. The iPad has the same amount of memory and basically the same video hardware as the iPhone 3GS, but needs to drive a display with over 5 times the number of pixels. And if that memory is shared with the video hardware, the iPad will actually have less available memory. It will be a delicate balancing act.

Ignoring certain problems in my life (because), it’s been a really long time. I couldn’t think of an instance at the time, but now I recall an episode during my first post-college job in Santa Barbara. No, I didn’t do anything stupid, I just got really really steamed. There have been instances since then that others have felt that I should have been angrier (Beverly Hills Audi), or that I have felt others should have been angrier (San Jose Fairmont) but the lesson there is that different things push different buttons for different people.

I’m pretty “in control”, but I wasn’t always like this. Apparently I had a really bad temper as a young child. One of the defining moments in my life was when I was in third grade. During a presentation in the library, the presenter asked the students if they knew anybody with a bad temper and all my friends looked in my direction. At that moment, I realized I had a problem. I don’t remember those friends anymore (I moved, it was a long time ago, etc), but they played a very important role in my life.

That presentation was to introduce a new lesson plan that we’d be participating in as students. It was called “Project Self Esteem” (another link). Here is an abstract:

This guide presents Project Self-Esteem, a program for improving self-esteem and preventing drug and alcohol abuse in kindergarten through grade 6. Chapter I presents the team leader’s guide and discusses introducing the program to the principal, school staff, and parents. Chapter II focuses on kindergarten and includes lessons on being a friend to oneself, taking care of oneself, and being kind to others. Chapter III focuses on grade 1 and includes lessons on friendship, being a friend to oneself, taking care of oneself, and being kind to others. Chapter IV for grades 2 and 3 presents 12 lessons on realizing one’s uniqueness, gratitudes, compliments, stress reduction, communication skills, friendship, and cheating. Chapter V for grade 4 presents 11 lessons on realizing one’s uniqueness, goal setting, stress reduction, learning to memorize, feelings, self-esteem, communicating assertively, friendship, and stealing and teasing. Chapter VI for grade 5 presents 11 lessons on realizing one’s uniqueness, goal setting, listening, communication skills, working with anger, handling incoming anger and upsets, communicating assertively, learning about handicaps and listening, and stealing and teasing. Chapter VII for grade 6 presents nine lessons on social skills, social skills/choice making, assertive training, peers and conformity, friendship, alcohol and drug abuse, and introduction to junior high. Chapter VIII presents a teacher’s guide. Chapter IX presents the parent program. A bibliography is included. (ABL)

I really don’t remember the specific lessons much at all, maybe vaguely about “stress reduction” and “learning to memorize”. And I actually do employ something similar to the “stress reduction” exercise when I need to go to sleep but am too wound up. One lesson I do remember was related to anger management. It basically involved counting to 10 slowly after being angered. I don’t do that now, but the lesson was learned.

Back to the present, I told my friend that I felt that raging and throwing a fit was ineffective, inefficient, and only escalated the situation. She then called me “Spock”. Fine. But it makes sense to me. We’re all adults, and should be able to calmly work things out and admit mistakes when we make them. But in thinking about it some more, I may have overlooked a couple of aspects of throwing a fit.

• Communications is not done strictly through spoken or written word. Communications involves body language and actions. A calm response may be partially misinterpreted (there’s a really guarded phrase “may be partially”) as apathy (“he doesn’t care”) and/or meekness (“he’s giving up”). The seriousness and importance would then be underestimated.
• Admitting mistakes and compromising can often be taken as a sign of weakness. If one is “forced” to admit their mistake and arrive at a compromise, he may be unhappy and feel he has been subjugated. On the other hand, if the other admits their mistake they may be viewed as weak. “Sometimes it is better to win, than to be right”? Maybe I’m OK with admitting my mistakes because, as a programmer, I constantly make mistakes (there is a whole industry out there helping us track our mistakes (bugs) and looking for them (QA)). But perhaps others are not used to having their mistakes be so transparent. Different populations would have different value judgments for admitting mistakes and giving up position on them (WMDs?). Interactions should take that into account.

My parents divorced when I was starting high school (Hi Mom, Dad! Sorry.). They fought. Friends I knew had fights. Did that have an effect on me? Probably. At some point, I almost certainly said, “I won’t be like that.”

Shit. I don’t want to play these stupid games. Posturing. Social traditions. Whatever. Can’t I just leave this to sociology researchers?

I guess ultimately it comes down to communicating effectively.

As for the certain problems in my life, managing the emotional response and the rational response has been a challenge at times. It really isn’t about anger (maybe some of it is). More introspection is required.

Day 1

Day 2353

You practice. This thread follows one person’s journey from absolute beginner to master. After 6+ years of daily sketching and practice, he now shows in galleries and teaches art. Here is his website.

A lot of talented people have worked hard for their talents.

My putting. (If you’re viewing this through an RSS reader like Google Reader, you might be missing the pretty embedded graph.)

No, I’m kidding. I have been working on my putting (and I’m happy with my improvements), but I wanted to show you TallyZoo. I think we have a buzzwordy term along the lines of “Personal Information Platform”. But I just use it to count things. You can use the website or the companion TallyZoo iPhone app.

It kind of works well with the whole New Year’s Resolution business. I’m using it to track my gym visits too. It’s rather open ended with all the benefits and inconveniences that entails. You can use it to track pretty much anything, but specialized apps can probably do a better job in their niches.

There is definitely plenty of room for improvement. But I guess as the saying goes, “If you’re happy with your product, you waited too long to release.” Or something like that.

If you want to try out the iPhone app, I can probably hook you up with a copy. Or send you an iTunes gift card/code to cover the cost. Or something. You should obviously leave a ridiculously positive rating in return.

Businessy/money goals:

1. Increase my revenue by 20%. On a cash accounting basis, I ended up doing 10% more in 2009 than in 2008. This is less than I predicted a month ago. This is due to overdue invoices, etc. Bleah. I hate being effectively a bank and loaning money.
2. Reduce my dependence on my primary contract. This is slightly in conflict with the above, which just means I need to make more money from elsewhere.
3. Create a new (additional) revenue stream that is largely orthogonal to my existing revenue streams. In other words, not from iPhone (or similar) apps and not from freelance work. Preferably something that does not take too much time, and does not generate revenue in proportion to the number of hours I work (ie I’m not getting paid hourly or waiting on invoices). Should leverage my technical skills. Maybe I’ll set up a little web store or something. I do have one idea already. I’ll have to think about that a little bit more. Concern: is this diluting my focus? Or am I managing my risks and hedging my bets?
4. Release 3 or 4 more personal iPhone apps.
5. Double my savings.
   

More personal, non-businessy stuff:

1. Go to the gym 130 times in 2010. This is somewhere in between twice a week and three times a week. This should allow me to slack once in a while, and still keep me honest.
2. Work on remembering names. I suck at remembering names, in one ear and out the other. I don’t need to be one of those people that can hear a name once and remember it forever. I’ll settle with remembering for the rest of the night. I suppose I’ll do some research on memory techniques, and work on making a more concerted effort during introductions.
3. Move. Destination unknown. You know where I want to be.

I am certainly cynical in (many) ways, but in the end I am an optimist. I believe people will act selfishly and in their own self interest, but I also believe that most people generally will not go out of their way to harm another.

It’s been a tough year. And at times, when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it would get worse. But I was ever hopeful. I always hoped that things would get better. Well, almost. I may have temporarily lost “it” a couple of times, but every time after achieving equilibrium, I returned to my hopeful self. There were times I was depressed. Maybe even deeply depressed. But I always knew that the depression was fleeting and that it would get better.

The depression itself was insightful. I feel that my depression has given me a small window into the lives of others who suffer from depression.

When I watched “The Road“, I asked myself, “Who would I be, Viggo’s character, the hopeful one? Or Charlize’s, the hopeless one?” And most definitely, I would be Viggo’s. Though to be fair, many people would probably be hopeful at the beginning of an apocalypse, but their position (and mine as well) may change many years into one.

I can play the Devil’s Advocate, I can see the opposing views (usually). I give people the benefit of doubt. I trust strangers to be decent. I trust my friends to be good. I trust easily. And I’ll get burned for it once in a while. But that’s OK, because the good outweighs the bad, and I am rewarded when my trust and optimism are returned.

(Maybe that’s why I’m always running late, I’m optimistic about how much I can get done/how far I can travel in a certain amount of time.)

At least now my users won’t get random crazy lag between KEY_DOWN events and KEY_UP events which cause Front Row to scroll 100 items further than intended.

Anyways, months ago, I was watching Journeyman. Journeyman is about a guy that travels back through time trying to fix things (hah, where’s the line?). And as is fashionable, as the particular episode started to  wrap up, a trendy song started playing. I liked the song, and the lyrics caught my attention. The song was “Lucky Man” by The Verve. The words that caught my attention were: “Happiness / More or less / It’s just a change in me”. Was this the moment that I knew that my happiness was my choice? I’m not sure. If that wasn’t the moment, then it was just a happy coincidence that I heard the song at that time.

Yes, my happiness is my choice. However, at the time, I chose not to be happy. I chose not to be happy because I wanted to honor the commitment I had made to myself. I chose not to be happy because I was willing to give up my short term personal happiness for what I hoped were greater longer term gains. I am clearly no hedonist.

Is it time for me to choose differently? I’m not sure. Which means it isn’t quite time yet. But the fact that I am asking myself this, means that that moment is coming. It fills me with great sadness. I suppose when I think about it, having to choose between my happiness and my commitments fills me with sadness too.

My friend, Chris, told me something some 7+ years ago (I wonder if he still remembers, I’ll have to ask him). He said, “We choose what we want.” Fitting words then. And now.

Lucky Man by The Verve

Happiness
More or less
It’s just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

But I’m a lucky man
With fire in my hands

Happiness
Something in my own place
I’m stood here naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am

Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just who I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

I hope you understand
I hope you understand

Gotta love that’ll never die

Happiness
More or less
It’s just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my

Gotta love that’ll never die
Gotta love that’ll never die
No, no
I’m a lucky man

It’s just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It’s just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It’s just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
It’s just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my